Jordan's first "School" Picture

Pumpkin Patch

Jordan and I went to the Pumpkin Patch at Bauman Farms this Saturday. It was a gorgeous day, about 63 degrees and sunny - and we met Meghan & Diego, Kari & Eva there. There are hay mazes, zip lines, big swings, petting zoos and all kinds of stuff for toddlers and older kids, but our little darlings are too young still, so we didn't pay the $10 to get into the activities area. But we explored the gardens, partook in the apple tasting, and bought lots of goodies from the store! They had apple cider donuts cooking there, and the smell was intoxicating... We brought home some apple cider, marionberry scones, pumpkin cookies, and swiss gourmet apples. YUMMY! The babies each picked their own decorative gourd, and they checked out all of the little squash and the fountains, and played in the grass... There are so many fun seasonal things to do here - that we haven't even begun to explore yet! Jordan gives me the excuse to do it all... :)

This is Kari and Eva, with Jordan and I - checking out the little pumpkins. Jordan really liked her little gourd... :)

Jordan and the friends she made... :)
All of the little ones in a swing - putting up with the mommy's cameras snapping away!
Closeup of Jordan by the marigolds.
Frolicking in the grass!

The Dunk!!!

I must be crazy

It is amazing to me how things change. The things that are important to a person can shift so drastically – and so suddenly – and new priorities can make you completely abandon the “can’t live withouts” from yesterday.

I remember a day when the very most important thing to me was being out with my friends. NOTHING else mattered, as long as I could be out with my friends on the weekend. If something happened that could prove to be an obstacle to that goal, life may as well have been over.

Then my priority was my husband. What mattered the most to me was spending quality time with him, and making him happy, and being with him 98% of the time.

Suddenly my priority is Jordan, but it gets ever so much more specific than that. There was a time when the thing that consumed my being was MILK. Making enough milk for her. I feverishly documented and graphed my milk production daily – with notations indicating what foods and drinks I had taken in, and what crazy herbs I had taken on a given day; desperately seeking some trend… I don’t worry about that so much any more, not because I don’t care as much, but because something else has taken it’s place in my mind’s hierarchy of things to worry about.

Lately, I’ve been obsessed with Jordan’s bowel habits – we had a very ugly constipation issue, which I hope never to repeat – so I am constantly wishing for the awful smell of a poopy diaper – I feed her high fiber foods. I massage her little belly in clockwise circles to aid digestion. I cheer when I see her face turn red in concentration and I know she is going. And then I thoroughly investigate each and every diaper for color and consistency. I’M NUTS.

I am going somewhere with this, I promise.

Along with all of the other “personal” priorities that dictate my thoughts, actions, and moods – I have always held another critical part of my being – my career. I have managed to keep it separate from my personal life, but that hasn’t made it any less significant. Until Jordan came along. Of all of the parts of my life that she has changed, this is the very most surprising. If I had the option, I would quit my job today. I would spend every waking moment with my baby. Taking her places, showing her things, helping her learn, learning from her… My job, now, is nothing more than a means to bring home the money that we need to fund the things that cost money in our lives.

I’ve tried to do some soul searching – is it true that I just don’t like my job anymore? Am I bored? Do I need a new challenge? I have been in this role longer than any other since I started working… Or am I simply not as motivated in “job” in general? I don’t have the answer, maybe because I don’t really have time to give it enough consideration… I find myself searching for a new career – one that offers more flexibility, and the same level of compensation as my current job. That isn’t going to happen, and I know it – so I just plod along, so as not to interrupt the status quo. I’m either not thinking hard enough, or I’m thinking crazy. And I can’t tell which.

Ah well, I’m fumbling here. I’ll try again on this thought next time. Any words of wisdom from anyone, in the meantime, are welcome. :)

Hunting Birds

Well - we had quite the exciting weekend! Another swimming lesson, and we successfully dunked Jordan, will post video hopefully tonight. Then we had a baby food making party with our friends Meghan and Diego - we made SO much baby food - peaches, nectarines, plums, green beans, broccoli, zucchini, and carrots.

On Sunday, the 4 Hutchins went out to hunt some birds! It was a beautiful day, so we headed up to Rocky Top. BJ and Cobey set off up the road ahead of Jordan and I, and we sauntered along behind them, looking at ferns, and different kinds of trees, and rocks... Jordan totally enjoyed herself. We decided she isn't the best hunter yet - since she likes to make lots of noise, grunting, squealing, and down right yelling, especially at Cobey, while we walk along.

BJ did manage to shoot 2 ruffed grouse - but Cobey did not perform his function well at all... He found the bird, sniffed at it, picked it up for a minute, then spit it out and tried to go on about his merry way - much to our chagrin... That puppy had better earn his keep!!!! Oh well - maybe better luck next time. In any case, the grouse certainly tasted good for dinner!

Here's a couple of pictures - the big pink sweater kinda defeats the purpose of the baby camo. :)

Pictures

You know how you can take a few pictures, and then can't decide which one you like the best? I have that problem quite often, Jordan is too photogenic... So I figured I'd just post all 3 of these - and you can decide which one is the cutest. :) She's turning into quite the little chunk!!!

And just one more - she really likes the new jogging stroller - and so does mommy - I just wish it would fit in the darn trunk of the car. What a bummer. :) Blankets and hats are now required, as fall has come to Oregon!!

BJ

I was glancing through my blog today, and it occurs to me that I have lots to say about Jordan all of the time, and lots to say about me all of the time, and not very much to say about the other two members of the family – who I love very much!
So this post is an “Ode” to my wonderful hubby… (Cobey will have his day too). :)
Even though I pick at him, and have even been known to nag, and he can tick me off like no one else can – I love him more than the world. He swept me off of my feet, and can charm my socks off any time he chooses. He’s loving and supportive, SO smart, fun and fun-loving, and I’ve never felt safer or more cared for than I do with BJ. He manages to put up with me and all of my shortcomings, and he challenges me in lots of ways; I feel like together, we can accomplish anything. :) Okay, I’m gushing here… So here are few more pictures of him – the man with my heart.


Brewing an All Grain Beer on our front deck.

Teaching an obviously enthralled Jordan about morse code on his ham radio.

And admiring the antlers from his first bull elk last year.

VENT

Okay, so I need to vent. I have a hot button - and whenever anyone pushes it, even unknowingly, I can feel the coils of my brain turn red hot, and smoke tendrils start leaking from my nose and ears.... Someone says that Jordan is SPOILED, even in jest, and I lose my sense of humor.

How in the world can a 6 month old baby be spoiled????

Wikipedia's definition of SPOILED is to diminish or impair the quality of something; to affect detrimentally. This in NO WAY describes Jordan.

The University of Michigan Health System describes a spoiled child as undisciplined, manipulative, and unpleasant to be with much of the time. This in NO WAY describes Jordan.

A spoiled chiled behaves in many of the following ways by the time he is 2 or 3 years old:
Doesn't follow rules or cooperate with suggestions.
Doesn't respond to "no," "stop," or other commands.
Protests everything.
Doesn't know the difference between his needs and his wishes.
Insists on having his own way.
Makes unfair or excessive demands on others.
Doesn't respect other people's rights.
Tries to control people.
Has a low tolerance for frustration.
Frequently whines or throws tantrums.
Constantly complains about being bored.

I agree with both the definition, and the description. NEITHER one describes Jordan, not even close. Heck, they couldn't describe Jordan, because she isn't developmentally able to do most of those things yet.

People tend to say that she is spoiled because she cries, about pretty much anything. When she cries because she wants to fall asleep in bed with me, or in someone's arms, she must be spoiled. When she cries because she is dealing with a typical developmental milestone (separation anxiety) she is spoiled. When she cries because she wants to be held rather than sit on the floor and play by herself, she must be spoiled. MALARCHY!!!!!

I can never understand why people think that I must let my baby cry - or else I will spoil her. When she is 2 years old, and she can communicate, when she remembers people that she doesn't see all of the time; when she is beginning to understand consequences and when is old enough to move around and make herself comfortable and entertain herself, THEN I can begin to consider whether or not she is spoiled. NOT at 6 months old.

I just about fly off of the handle every time I hear it - but I just hold things together, clamp my lips shut, and let it pass, although my brain sizzles and my hands shake... BJ and I have had a few knock down drag outs over this very topic - but my stance is firm. NO ONE can make me believe that ANY child who can not yet communicate, could be spoiled. High needs, sure. Clingy, sure. Tempremental, sure. But SPOILED? Hell no.

Just needed to get that out. I'm not sure whether I feel better, or more riled up than when I started. :)

Trip to the mountains

We took a family trip to the mountains this past weekend - and it was wonderful. The weather was perfect, and we all had a super good time. Jordan fit right in with all of the hunters, in her camo pants. :) We have to start her early. :)

Jordan enjoyed her picnic (aka, lunch on the quilt) as Cobey stood by, our ever faithful guardian, and crumb hunter...

Jordan got plumb tuckered out and took a snooze in the baby k'tan, under a hat from her grandaddy in Florida!

The faces of Jordan

I don't know who pulled out all of these toys mom, honest! It must have been Cobey - I just happened upon them!



Okay, Okay, so I did it - but aren't I so cute?




You want to play too? We could have so much fun... It's great down here!



Oh my gosh - I thought I heard you say that we should put them away! Ha ha! That's the funniest thing I've heard all day! :)

Sleeping Situation

This is an old picture - from when Jordan was only 3 weeks old - but I wanted to illustrate Jordan sleeping soundly. Which she is now able to do in her CRIB, miracle of miracles... Last night was the sixth night in a row that I was able to lay her down without her crying. YAY! She woke up after just an hour, but we nursed, and I layed her down again - TWICE in one night with no fussing! I can't hardly believe it - it didn't take very long. It wasn't any fun, and I wouldn't want to have to go through it again, but it worked!!!! She still comes to bed with me when she wakes up around 10 or 11, which will be the case until we decide to wean.

Last night, Jordan woke up around 3:30, and was fussing in our bed. I succeeded in begging BJ to get up and get her some tylenol - as Jordan is really having teething pain these days. We gave her her dose, and I waited for her to relax and go back to sleep, but she didn't. She did get quiet and still for a few minutes, just as preparation to blow the biggest toot I've heard in quite a while. She must have decided to mimic this amazing sound, becuase after the blast of gas came a very loud and lengthy rasberry - which started BJ to giggling... She proceeded to blow rasberries, and babble, and kick me, for about an hour - she was very bored and wanted to get up and play. LOVELY. She finally did go back to sleep around 4:30 - I hope that this is not going to continue!

Anyhow, I just felt like giving myself a little praise and glory for making it through crib training! It CAN be done. Amazing. :)

SAD

Our neighbor Bob passed away last night. Bob was a really good man - a little strange, a little quirky, but a genuinely good person. And he was a good friend - it makes me very sad. He's had a rough couple of weeks, as he was in the hospital for 5 days after having a diabetic seizure. His daughter called BJ to ask him if we would go check, since he wasn't answering his phone, and BJ found him on the couch, pretty much unconscious. I noticed that I hadn't seen him the prior day, and thought about going over to check on him, but I didn't. I can't help but wonder if I had - if I could have gotten him to the hospital sooner - in time to save him. Or maybe not, maybe he was okay at that point, and was just spending the day inside, resting. Who knows. But I do wish that I had listened to the little voice that said I should go check. I think that I was scared - scared of what I might find... But I wish that I hadn't been.
Bob and I had a conversation when he got back from the hospital - we were sitting out in his backyard, talking about what a nice evening it was - and he smiled and said "Aren't we so lucky to live here, in such a beautiful place"?
He used to cut flowers from his yard, and bring them over, becuase he knew that I liked them. He would bring us tomatoes from his garden, and a giant zucchini or two... And he loved it that I would bring Jordan over to admire all of the crazy psychodelic windmills that he had scattered all over the place. I used to talk about how tacky they were - but in a way, I'll miss them. I'll miss Bob.

Prep

Okay - so one more picture to share - of my preppy little girl... :) God Bless Baby Gap.

Another Day

Okay, so it can't be coincidence - Jordan didn't cry last night when I put her down! That makes the third night in a row... Could it be that the worst is over?? Oh I HOPE SO!


So - some pictures that I promised from yesterday. First of all, grudgingly so, but at my mom's request, a swimming picture from our lesson. I just love Jordan's little bathing suit.

Second, the picture of BJ's buck. And a funny one - because of what you can't see, which is daddy telling Jordan "see, nothing to be afraid of, it's just a deer - head - hanging from a tree." :)

So - Jordan is beginning to get herself a little bit of an attitude! I've noticed lately that if you take a toy away from her, she gets upset... She is VERY grabby right now, and wants to hold EVERYTHING in her reach, and if she can't reach it, or if you try to keep it away, she gets very frustrated. I was playing with her, and let her pull on the cord on the living room fan that turns the light on and off - which totally astounded and amazed Jordan. Much to her delight, she could turn the light on and off as often as she wanted, for as long as I stood there holding her up high enough so that she could reach the wooden pull. Well, she didn't want to stop, even though mommy's arms were tired - and she has not forgotten about that wonderful toy since, because she reaches for it every time we walk under the fan now. It seemed like a fun good idea at the time. :) So today in daycare, Victoria asked me "so who does Jordan get her temper from"? I looked at her in awe, and promptly responded "from her daddy" (obviously, because mommy is made of sugar) and asked her why she would ask? Apparently Kohana, one of the girls in Jordan's room, took a toy away from her -and Jordan pitched a fit! Ha! The personality is starting to shine through - and she is living up to her nickname of "Stinker". :) I've been described as having a "strong personality" in the workplace - perhaps Jordan will follow suit. :) She never stood a chance, between BJ's genes and mine, she won't be a girl who stays in the wings. Let the fun begin. :)

A few pictures

Daddy bought Jordan a new stuffed puppy dog on his latest trip to Bi-Mart. He threatened her that it "HAD BETTER become her favorite toy" ha ha ha! She thinks that it tastes wonderful. :)

And this is probably my favorite new picture of her - she gives me this super silly grin every so often, and it's a hard one to catch on film! I think she's the cutest baby girl I ever saw... But I'm only a little biased...

ARGH BLAH ARGH

This is definately a Monday. And a bad one. It all started when I had to spend an HOUR AND A HALF on the phone with Orbitz customer service fighting for a refund since they double booked me for a flight to Florida in November. I've been calling and arguing with them for a week, and today I lost my nerve and told them that we weren't getting off of the phone until it was done. It was NOT PRETTY. But it is done. I even got an apologetic email from them with a travel voucher, for all of my trouble. ARGH!

It will be a day that I need to sit down with the joy of my life, and let her melt all of my tension away... until bedtime, that is. :)

Actually, this weekend she did really well! She started to get tired about 6:30 - and after 15 minutes of the regular routine, I picked her up and she swore to me that she wasn't tired anymore... So we walked around the house, and watched a little tv for 30 minutes or so, and then tried again - and miracle of miracles, when I laid her down she didn't even cry... WOW! For 2 nights that was the case, so I'm hoping that maybe we are over the worst! She gets so darn worked up, and sweaty, her whole head gets soaking wet. I guess that she inherited the "superior excretory system" that my daddy gave to me. I was hoping that maybe the sweating gene would skip a generation, but no such luck - sorry Jordan. :)

We had a swimming lesson this weekend, that was really fun! Jordan definately likes the water. We had some friends there, and it was a great time for all of the babies. I will post a picture of Jordan in her little bathing suit - she was so precious.... But I need a picture that doesn't include mommy in her bathing suit, because she is not so precious... :)

I'm planning to work on that, we have a new jogging stroller that arrived on Friday! It has a cover that snaps on with little windows so that Jordan will stay dry in the event that it rains, which is pretty likely to be the case from now until about next March. We tested the stroller out on Saturday, and it works beautifully, though the jogger isn't working quite as well... It feels completely unnatural to be running... Owwwwww!!! It's funny how that works - I see a tree 50 yards away, and tell myself "okay, just run to that, and then you can stop". So I really only ran for a few short unexplicably painful bursts. This is going to take some real getting used to - as I'm very sore after just the first expedition. The only downside of the stroller - it won't fit into the trunk of the beemer. What a joke. A great stroller, that I can't take anywhere. Life is grand. :)

BJ killed a little buck this weekend - just a little "fork in horn", which for you non-hunters means a little baby buck, with little baby antlers... He spotted it across a clearcut, and then he and his buddy talked about who was going to take it, when BJ realized that he might not get many more chances to hunt, so if he wanted meat in the freezer, he'd better do the job. Plus, I liked his reasoning, that if he didn't kill it, his buddy would - either way he was going to have to hike down the canyon and up the clearcut to get this deer - and he may as well do it for his own deer rather than for someone elses. :) Anyhow, the hunt was successful. We'll have to start Jordan on venison. :)

Lots of update - no pictures. But I'll try to get some posted tomorrow.

Jordan chooses her toys

Crib Training Night #2

Well, it wasn't much easier last night than it was on night #1. The timing was about the same. We nursed, I laid her down, and the crying began. She never went more than 5 minutes without reassurance from mommy. I never left the room. I cried silently the whole time. I picked her up twice, nursed her again once, and it took 30 minutes for her to fall asleep. A 4 minute improvement over the night before. And she slept in the crib for 4 hours - an hour better than last night. So this is progress, right? I have to believe it, because this is so hard! How long will it take to get better??? When will she stop crying so that I will stop crying???? Why do I have to feel so guilty about it??? Her crying tears my heart out... But I can't stop trying after just 2 days. It is working - as painful as it is.... It will all be worth it in the end, right??????

New Pictures

Me and my little bug - after a bath! She's such a doll... (the baby, not the mommy...) :)

Jordan learns all kinds of things from daddy - including how to start a logging business, and about front end loaders!!! :)

Crib Training Night #1

So... we had success last night... but it was not easy... :(

Jordan started rubbing her eyes at the typical time, about 7:15. So we retired to the dimly lit nursery, turned on the George Winston December album, and quietly nursed until her eyes were fluttering. In one smooth motion (at least an attempt at one smooth motion, I'll be honest), I swept her from the nursing pillow onto my shoulder while at the same time standing up and ditching the pillow... She seemed asleep. I slowly lowered my upper body to lay her in the crib, and at the first inkling of a muscle beginning to bend, she awoke, and started crying. Not just fussing, but all out, red face, vein sticking out of the forehead, big scared eyes, wailing. OH NO. I rubbed her chest and belly, kissed her cheeks, tried with all of my might to lay my entire upper body next to her in the crib - to no avail. So I kissed her cheeks again, told her I loved her, and it was time for night-night, and sat down in the rocker. She WAILED. I swear she was sputtering "mama", over and over again... This feels like someone has my heart in their hands, and is wringing it out, and poking it with a sharp stick. I watch the clock. One minute. I get back up again, and try to soothe her, rub the chest, kiss the cheeks, tell her it is okay, and sit in the rocker again. This time I wait 2 minutes. The next time 3 minutes. I relinquished after about 15 minutes, and nursed her again, until she calmed down, heart rate slowed back down, and she went limp. Back to the crib, back to the crying. At 33 minutes, I am curled into the fetal position in my rocker, tears rolling down my face, asking God why this has to be so hard, when she suddenly falls silent... OH GOD, IS SHE BREATHING??? She is fine, her "lovey" pressed up to her face, sleeping like an angel.
I sit through the remainder of the song that is playing, and then walk out into the kitchen, desperately needing to hug BJ... My cheeks red and streaked with tears, my eyes are puffy, and I feel like it's been an eternity - I think it was harder on me than on her. But she was asleep, it worked. And she slept for 3 hours before she woke me, and I brought her to our bed for the remainder of the night.
So, she was never alone, I was 5 feet away - and I got up to soothe her without letting her go longer than 5 minutes at a time... I picked her up twice, and nursed her once... Maybe this will be easier tonight. I can't go back - I have to stick with this if I expect it to work.
I'm dreading it already. :(

Sleeping Situation

See this girl? She's tired. She can't hide it. Her skin is all red around her eyes, and she rubs them incessantly when she is tired. She has sleep cues that you just can't miss. So, it ought to be easy to get her to sleep... it is easy to get her to sleep at day care. I drop her off, and more than a few times, she is sleepy after nursing, and so I walk her to her crib, lay her down, and she just closes her little eyes, and goes to sleep. WHY can't she do this at home???? I know why. Because she has this mommy wrapped around her little finger. And because I'm tormented by what my beliefs about what to do about sleeping.
Right now, she sleeps with me. I love it. She is a fantastic snuggler, and she nurses throughout the night, keeping my milk supply up, and keeping her "tank" full. BUT - I get no snuggle time with my dearest husband. And I have to spend almost an hour every night getting her down to sleep, before I can slip out of the bed to have a glass of wine and/or conversation over a sink full of dishes or laundry with BJ. Something has got to give.
The best scenario? Lay her down in her crib, she sleeps for at least a couple of hours, and when she wakes, I bring her to bed with us for the remainder of the night. But she doesn't want to lay in her crib at all! For naps during the day, fine - but at night, she is supposed to be velcroed to mommy - that is what she wants - and when I put her in that crib, she knows that if she cries, I will give in and bring her to my bed. ARGH.
I won't let her cry it out. I don't believe in that. I don't think that it is okay to let my daughter cry hysterically in a dark room alone.
I read the No Cry Sleep Solution, loaned to me by my good friend Meghan, and I am going to have to take action. I'm not looking forward to this at all - as it feels as if someone poked me in the heart with a sharp stick when I hear her crying. But, something has to be done. And she will cry, no matter what the book was called. It is going to be hard, and tedious, and will likely wear the whole family out (even Cobey, who looks at me with sad, tired eyes when Jordan really gets going).
This weekend is the weekend. I can do this. If she sleeps in her crib at day care, she can sleep in her crib at home - at least for a few hours. Right??????????